We all have moments where we aren’t our wisest, kindest, or best selves. For parents and caregivers these moments often trigger a lot of self-blame and regret but we have good news. These moments where we aren’t our best are important learning moments for our children. In fact, it is healthy for children to learn that people have good moments and difficult moments, provided after those difficult moments we repair. Taking responsibility for mistakes and missteps teaches children that we are human. Some research is now indicating that for children to see that the world is complex, not always black and white, they must experience this rupture and repair process.

So when you have a tough day, yell, get frustrated, or dismiss rather than empathizing embrace this learning opportunity. Take that learning moment and apologize, clarify, share your humanity, express vulnerability, and reconnect. It’s not an easy shift to make, but when we learn to accept our mistakes we also tell our child that we will accept their mistakes.

“Children don’t need perfect parents,

they do need you.”